So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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