During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
