i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
