..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
