im drinking this country out of the recession.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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