well you can't waste a boner
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
