I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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