Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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