i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
