Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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