i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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