I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
