Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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