whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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