ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
