Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
