could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
