dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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