She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
