i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Mom said you looked used
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
