weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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