She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
