He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
