That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We got so high we made milksteak
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
