Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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