You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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