She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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