I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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