Sponge bath it is.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
