he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
