she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
