I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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