I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
