So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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