in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
