There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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