You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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