There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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