Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
