Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

(541): View more from Oregon

I don't know but we should still do that

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(480): View more from Arizona

I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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(304): View more from West Virginia

i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?

(301): View more from Maryland

just fucking run.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.

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(319): View more from Iowa

I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

That's a really terrible idea.

(734): View more from Michigan

Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input

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(614): View more from Ohio

We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?

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(904): View more from Florida

So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...

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(469): View more from Texas

He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor

(972): View more from Texas

Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone

(469): View more from Texas

Noooo he’s listed as free food #5

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