i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
