didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
