so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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