theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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