I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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