It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
