I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
