Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
