yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
