took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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